If a girl moves to the South...
and isn't married/engaged, does she cease to exist?
I'm beginning to think so. My first North Carolina friend got engaged this weekend. She has been dating this guy for just about one year. She's 23, he's roughly 10 years older than she is. And she is one of the last of her friends to get married. It's crazy. I'm sure Kristi can back me up on the fact that this would be pretty typical in Oregon as well, though maybe not the age difference thing. I'm now one of 3 ( yes, 3) never-married ( never-engaged) teachers at my school. When you include the whole staff, I think the number probably sky-rockets all the way to 4. There's me, a pre-K teacher, and the lone male teacher ( 5th grade). If you include the one-on-one assistant in my room, Gregg, then you get 4. THIS IS CRAZY!!!!
My family thinks that this should mean that there are that many more people to introduce me to other people, but I think that they are living on Mars. In my experience, it means that many fewer people. All of the engaged and married people spend time with their families and friends and don't have a whole lot of time for people who are not already part of their circle.
Sometimes, life in the career fast lane feels more like life driving illegally in the career carpool lane. I welcome your opinions.
posted by Unknown @ 6:38 PM
3 Comments:
I guess my concern isn't really that I'm not married, but the fact that the number of pepole whom I identify with keeps decreasing. I have a really hard time at school some days because the other teachers on my grade level are all 20 years or more older and have children. Most of the time they treat me like I am their daughter, which I could be. I like having other people around, but it is hard when I spend all day with such a small and static group of people. I did start volunteering, and I have a buddy there. I feel better about myself going and doing something good, but it still feels like a lot of alone time.
Another friend of mine met her boyfriend ( almost fiance) online. The thing is, I'm not good at initiating contact in person, and it's even less comfortable over the internet. What's a girl to do?
I understand the age difference thing in the workplace -- I recently started a new internship where most people who work there are older than me. It creates sort of a strange, not necessarily bad, dynamic. Because it's like, is this how the place i ultimately end up working is is going to be? It's just so much harder to make new friends as you get older I think.
And working there made me realize how much I value the library branch I work part time in -- there there are a lot of younger people, and we all get along, and it's so nuturing, it's going to suck when I finally have to leave it.
About people getting married so young there, that's just strange to me. I am thankful I live on this coast.
Enter a male voice into the discussion and I don't think the tone changes at all. I'd like to echo Ayelet's earlier comment about the role of hobbies being the inroads to social groups and expanding opportunities to meet young people close to our age. It does seem that bars and clubs are the places people our age hang out, but I have been amazed at how many people are into soccer here in Sacramento. Adult coed leagues have hundreds of people in them and you see the same people all around the city. The same is true when I walk into a bookstore, a coffee shop or a local restaurant. I swear there are young people.. Right.. They are out there aren't they? I did figure out that I am not meeting too many people spending my evenings at home, making dinner and coming down from a workday which is how I spend most evenings. Having a female roommate also hurts my game a bit when we go out to dinner, when I want to have a big sign that reads out.. Unattached!!!! I think I'll go get a t-shirt made... Forget the technology, back to the basics of communication. I've got a 13 more thoughts on the subject but I'll give it a break. Phew. that was therapeutic...
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